Today is International Women’s Day. As the sign says, we honor and work toward the goals of  equal rights, equal opportunities and progress for all. Amen. And don’t forget your cookie.

Equal rights and opportunity aren’t enough. Here’s a cookie. Now do you believe?

Forget that.

What I’m really thinking here is that, cookies aren’t special any more. We can get them from any vending machine. Any corner store. Any cafeteria. Anywhere. Once upon a time, a cookie was special. I’m not talking about an Oreo or Fig Newton.  I’m not talking about age old packaged “legacy” cookies. I’m talking fresh-ish, warm, runny chocolate chip cookies. Used to be, you got those at home. They were a treat. Special. Then, somebody figured out that they were really good and people really liked them and would pay handsomely for them so they figured out how to make and distribute the dough (frozen I believe) so that they can be easily baked* at retail and served hot. Just like mom, except they used to be frozen and might have been that way for up to a year (if kept below zero degrees F). One 2 ounce cookie is 250 calories. One. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am here to report that I have never, to the best of my knowledge, eaten one chocolate chip cookie. Never.

For the health aware among us, they do offer an alternative. There is the 2 ounce, 220 calorie cookie. These reduced fat alternatives (7 grams compared to 13) do offer a lovely trade. You get chemicals in trade for fat. Interestingly, losing 6 grams of fat should have saved you 54 calories, to bring you under 200 but instead, you get an additional 5 grams of carbs, bring you back up to the reported 220.

My own view is simple. If I ever go back to eating chocolate chip cookies, they’ll be home made, full of fat and warm from the oven with a nice glass of whole milk.

I’ll remove the Overeaters Anonymous literature from my night stand and install a home a defibrillator. I’ll probably need to order a bedside crane too. I wonder if I can find a crane/piano case combo on Amazon?

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* They also have cookies that are pre-cooked. Just thaw and serve. Double yum. Double chemicals.