Slept like heck Friday night. Up too early but instead of going for a walk, I checked e-mail, drank decaf and chatted with some folks hanging around. The walk might have been the better choice. The talk was nice but I could have used the energy generated by walking. At 7a, I attended the morning For Today/Voice of Recovery meeting. It was good. I was tired and not all that attentive. I didn’t share at the meeting. As leader, I get to talk as much as I want and I don’t want to take away from the time others have to share. That felt like the right decision.

Breakfast at 8am was nice. Simple. I had eggs, which is something I don’ t often have at home.  I had a choice between rice cakes or oatmeal with whole wheat toast. That was an easy choice. I still don’t like oatmeal.  Nice conversation over breakfast.

At 9:15a the morning session started. Did we start on time? Pretty close. Probably the last session to really start on time.

I don’t think I told you the subject of the retreat. Fear. After the ice breaker on Friday, the guided meditation asked us to let our HP tell us what fear we most wanted to have removed.  That choice drove the rest of the weekend. I arrive at the retreat with my fear selected, planned, scripted and ready to go. The meditation changed all that and I worked on something else that was more pressing and real.

So, at 9:15 the attendees settled into their seats and I settled behind my podium and I spoke for about 15 minutes about fear in my life and about all the lies it whispers into my ears. This is what fear does. It tell us things which aren’t true. These lies drove me to drive-thrus, chain drug store sale flyer and local deep fry joints.

We captured and expressed these lies on paper, making ransom notes. Notes that expressed the lies the fear whispers in our ears. We had a big box of old magazines, scissor, glue sticks and markers and got to work. Each table had about 6 people working around it. They appointed someone to capture the lies and share them with the rest of the retreat. No question, there are common themes in these lies.

There was a nice and growing hum from the tables as they worked on their projects and I came to realize that more than the project itself and perhaps even more than the work of the retreat, the fellowship of the weekend is the greatest thing people take away.

The ransom notes were great. People seemed to enjoy the project and express some very real and very honest feelings.

We finished about 15 minutes before lunch and I have to say, I felt a lot better about this whole business by now.